Taking Care of the Caregiver

Caregivers get sick more often. They sleep less. They lose friends. They lose themselves. And they almost never ask for help until they are already broken.

Don't wait until you break.

Small things that help:

• Ten minutes outside, alone, every day
• One meal you didn't cook, once a week
• One phone call with a friend who knew you before this
• Saying "I am not okay" out loud to at least one person

Bigger things that help:

• Respite care — even a few hours a week
• A support group (in person or online) with other dementia caregivers who get it
• A therapist who understands grief that happens while the person is still here — it has a name: anticipatory grief
• Accepting help when it is offered, even when it feels like giving up

You are allowed to grieve. You are allowed to be furious. You are allowed to laugh. You are allowed to want your life back. All of it can be true at once.

And please hear this: taking care of yourself is not taking something away from them. It is the only way you get to keep giving.